Magabut

Akhir-akhir ini Suhu sudah lama nggak nge-blog. Kalau pun ada, update nya cuma tandem post dari sosmed sebelah (fesbuk status, instag update). Padahal, di jaman nya dulu, blog post itu sesuatu yang sudah jadi kegiatan sehari-hari. But now, somehow, life gets in the way. Kadang Suhu berpikir bagaimana dulu hal yang begitu alami (menulis setiap hari), sekarang menjadi begitu susah.

Apakah mungkin karena sejak ada anak waktu jadi berkurang? Benul. Tapi tidak hanya karena itu juga. Apakah jadi lebih susah? Benul. Kadang yang diperlukan untuk menulis blog post itu bukan hanya total durasi, tapi juga uninterrupted. Jadi misalnya diberi waktu menulis selama satu jam, mungkin jadi satu blog post. Tapi kalau dikasih waktu empat kali lima belas menit, belum tentu. Apalagi di antara jedah nya ada bayi teriak-teriak menggila tanpa sebab. Hmmm … jadi mungkin karena tidak ada waktu dan jadi lebih susah fokus. Apa lagi? Oh mungkin juga karena topik.

Ada juga masalah topik.

Selama ini Suhu selalu menulis topik tentang seputar hidup keseharian Suhu. Dimulai dari ngeblog jaman kuliah, tentang perjuangan seorang mahasiswa di rantau. Lanjut dengan ngeblog jaman kerja, tentang kehidupan seorang mandor yang masih di rantau. Hidup menjadi lebih rumit sekaligus lebih sederhana ketika seseorang sudah berada di rantau lebih lama daripada di kampung halaman sendiri. Saat itu kita mulai bertanya, di manakah rumah?

Menikah dan membeli rumah. Bukan hunian nempel tanah. Hanya secuil kotak di angkasa. Itu pun dengan kredit yang cicilannya sampai ujung usia. Benar-benar luar biasa. Setelah menikah, hidup bersahaja sambil berusaha untuk menambah anggota keluarga. Berkembang biak dan beranak pinak. Setahun lebih tak kunjung sukses. Saat akhirnya Nyonya positif hamil, blog ini pun dimulai. Itulah Awal Mula Cerita.

Sejak masa kehamilan itu, Suhu pindah kerja. Begini kira-kira versi singkat nya.

Suhu quit dari pekerjaannya. Bukan hal yang sulit, tentunya. Kita bisa tanya apakah pegawai pegawai cultur stelsel dan romusha ada yang berpikir dua kali untuk quit. Setelah menemukan pekerjaan lain yang dirasa lebih santai, Suhu memutuskan untuk prioritas ulang kehidupannya. Famili namber wan. Saking santai nya kerjaan Suhu yang baru, teman Suhu yang kenal sejak jaman kerja romusha, nggak biasa lihat Suhu santai. Ada yang bilang magabut lah, ada yang bilang pengangguran lah, maen fesbuk terus lah. Nah masalahnya begini cuy. I’m just that good in what I’m doing. Semisal di kerjaan yang lama, iya yang romusha itu, sehari Suhu harus mengerjakan 7 hal. Di kerjaan yang sekarang, 7 hal itu harus diselesaikan dalam satu minggu.

Karena tempo kerja Suhu sudah ditempa, iya di tempat romusha yang tadi, kalau ngerjain ya emang sudah biasa cepet. Masa mau dilambat-lambatin? Akhirnya 7 hal itu dilakukan dalam sehari. Padahal itu jatah kerjaan seminggu. Maka sisa hari dalam minggu itu, apa yang harus Suhu lakukan? Secara logika, beberapa dari kamu pasti ada yang mengatakan submit ke boss lebih awal, agar boss tahu kamu pantas mendapat posisi yang lebih senior dan kamu mendapat promosi dan kamu naek pangkat dan kamu naek gaji dan kamu kaya raya dan kamu dapat kerjaan lebih dan kamu dapat tanggung jawab lebih dan lha ini kan sama aja kayak balik ke kerjaan romusha tadi?

Dengan segala kebijaksanaan Suhu, kerjaan diselesaikan tepat waktu. Dalam artian, tidak pernah telat deadline. Tapi tidak pernah lebih awal. Kadang kalau lagi mood rajin, diselesaikan sehari sebelum. Tapi sejauh belum pernah mood rajin. Mood malas sering.

Sampai sekarang mungkin udah ada yang ilfil dengan cerita ini. Despicable sekali orang ini. Malas sekali. Bisa-bisanya. Tapi yang perlu kamu ketahui. Di antara kolega-kolega, hasil kerja Suhu temasuk rata-rata. Bukan top performer. Bukan yang paling selow juga. Jadi ya, malasnya gak parah-parah amat kalau dibanding yang males males banget, sama yang emang beneran selow.

Ya begitu kira-kira penjelasannya. Apakah deskripsi tersebut termasuk magabut?

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Karena Makan Gaji Buta itu haram hukumnya. Dan memfitnah itu kejam.

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The Kwan Origins: Adeline

It’s my 196th day in this world. I’ve adapted well. I’ve gained my sights to the surrounding and had learned sufficient intel. I already established communication method with the inhabitants of this world.

The Inhabitants. The smallest of them was twice the size of me. And the other two are HUGE. It seems that they have nested in this dwelling for quite some time. Yes. The inhabitants. And The Dwelling. There are bigger world out there outside The Dwelling.

First let’s talk about the Inhabitants. The one I’m most familiar with, they called her Mama. Mama’s job scope is unclear to me. I believe she has multiple designations in her squad. She’s the bodyguard, protecting me. But she’s also the warden, preventing me from escaping this prison realm. She has this familiar scent I believe she obtained from the Brew of the Divination Fragrance. I’ve co-developed the new communication system with her, because she performs so poorly in telepathy. So far the system works well. Cry for food and cry for sleep and cry for everything else. But she slowly gets it. She’s by far my favourite Inhabitants.

The biggest one, they called him Papa, is a warrior mage. Brandishing the Keg of the Archmagi filled with the murky white elixir, he feed me from time to time when Mama is not around. There was one time when Papa leap into the air to shield me from attack. As he hit the ground he rolled over, feet passing over his head, but even as he did so his newly freed arm slammed into the ground and his whole body rotated, bringing his feet into a superhero landing positoin. He was trying to bodyslam his opponent while protecting it at the same time. A weird martial art, really. His opponent was the other inhabitant. The small one. “Jiejie, don’t come near to Meimei!” he shouted as he rolled.

The small one. Don’t get me started. Despite I called him the small one, like I said earlier, its size was twice the size of me. And it is the loudest creature I’ve ever met in my entire life. It screams when it is sad, it screams when it is happy, and it screams when it is bored. It’s like they are performing unsanctioned experimental seismotoxicology on her. I always assume it takes two to make a bloody quarrel, but this beast can make it out of a monologue. They call this beast, Jiejie.

That’s about the Inhabitants. Now the Dwelling. The Dwelling is vast and strange, a huge space in the far edge which led to a sanctuary where the inhabitant keep the sacred Infinity Tub. This is the largest dam I’ve had seen in my whole life. Every day they will pour the water and mix it with the Brew of the Divination Fragrance. Sometime after Mama wrapped me in new clothings, she will bring me to the other edge of the Dwelling. The Unspeakable Vault of Insanity. One can only wonder what happened behind that door, but screams are heard and wails are unabating from that inescapable chamber. My best bet is, it’s Jiejie. Again.

I’ve mentioned about the world outside the Dwelling. I still have near zero knowledge about it. I did catch a glimpse of the Blessed Temple of the Lost Knowledge. Apparently Mama is bringing the small inhabitant to this place everytime the sun rises. As the sun sets, it will return to the Dwelling with new skills. “Jiejie you are so smart” Mama said. I can’t help but notice that this Blessed Temple of the Lost Knowledge they called “Child Care” holds the knowledge I need to build good rapport with the Inhabitants. I must devise a plan to get into that secret society. But now, I must hide. Papa is coming.18-03-20-09-48-06-037_deco

My Bilingual Daughter

“Ayam apa Njel?”
“Chicken.”
“Wooah hebat. Mata apa?”
“Eyes.”
“Idung idung?”
“Nose!”
“Anjing?”
“Dog.”
“Ganti ya, dibalik sekarang. Papa English kamu Indonesian.”
“OK.”
“Rabbit?” 
“KIMCHI!”

Evangeline, 3 yrs old, still thinks she’s 2 yrs old.
Next week we will celebrate her birthday. If Papa is free. And in a good mood. And sudah gajian.

Introducing a 3 Years Old

“Hi! I’m Angel. I can walk I can jump I can sing I love my Mama and yesterday Papa hit me.”

This is how my daughter introduced herself to strangers in playground.

I always teach my daughter when the public playground is occupied, try to play on the available stations (if slide is occupied, play with swings, vice versa). If none are available for monopoly, introduce yourself to the previous occupant prior claiming territories…. I mean prior sharing.

Next I need to work on teaching her what to say in this introduction.

Evangeline, 3 yrs old today.
Doesn’t even know today is her birthday.

We will combine the celebrations with her mother’s later. That minion has been getting all the attention for the past 3 years. This year is mama’s turn.

The Kwan Clan

Parenting changes us in many unexpected way. Tonight in this Kwan household everyone is assuming new role. Papa Kwan is now a professional wrestler carrying the Little Kwan who refuse to budge after shower. The Little Kwan is a naked drenched wrestler worrying her opponent performing German suplex on her. Madam Kwan is eating her bread like a fugitive. And the Littler Kwan thinks she is an opera singer.

Towo towo

Part of Javanese culture I never really understand is about the facade. Whatever you felt, good or bad, you must show to other people only the good part. It is manner.

One of the Javanese culture relevant to this is towo towo. The closest translation I can think of is offer or invitation. It is a nice gesture to offer something to someone or to invite someone to join you, regardless whether the intention is genuine, or just them being polite.

“Lhoooo le, wis suwe ndak ketemu, ayo mampir dulu. Masuk masuk.”
(Long time no see, please come in and pay me a visit.)

After go inside the house.

“Ada perlu apa?”
“Lo kan ibuk yang nyuruh masuk.”

(So what bring you here?
I don’t know, you’re the one who bring me in.)

The invitation is not necessarily genuine. See example above. It could be just a figure of speech. Sometime deep inside their heart they wish you reject their offer too.

“Ayo dimakan dulu kue nya. Jangan sungkan.”
(Don’t hesitate to eat the cake.)

Maybe the host had been eyeing to eat it before you came. But manner states you should towo towo to your guest and wish hard the guest will reject.

I’ve been teaching Angel towo towo for quite some time.

“Lho Angel makan? Ndak towo towo?”
“Papa, I eat chicken. You want? Don’t want, right? Thank you. You are welcome.”

Evangeline, almost 3 yrs old.
She’s been memorizing my lines too.